


- Let's Try - ( Yuri x Natsuki )

by Lia_Is_Lying



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Aaaah sorry Natsuki, Abuse, Angst, Blood, But its shitty poetry because im not good at writing poetry, Comfort, Do not read if you are sensitive to rape/non con, Eating Disorders, Everyone Is Gay, Everyones chill, Everythings cool, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, For the most part anyways, Friends to Lovers, Gore, Honestly Natsuki is pining so hard after Yuri, Honestly lets start a kickstarter to get Natsuki a new dad, I always do this crap to them yikes, Im awful honestly, Monika and Sayori are the ultimate cheesy couple, Monika is totally Yuris wingman, Monika x Sayori, Natsuki's dad can go die for all I care, Natsukis dad is the worst, Petition to throw away Natsukis dad in the trash, Pining, Poetry, Poor Natsuki, RAPE in CHAPTER FOUR, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Assault, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, This is why I can't have nice things/characters, This isnt a horror game anymore, Yuri tries really hard, some gore, sort of anyways, yikes!!!!, yuri x natsuki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-07-06 14:00:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15887466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Is_Lying/pseuds/Lia_Is_Lying
Summary: " At this point, Yuri had accepted her feelings towards Natsuki. She had tried to deny them for a long time- but now she knew what she was feeling. "XXXAU where Monika and the girls never became self aware, and MC never joined the story. Basically its just the girls having normal lives.





	1. Yuri

**Author's Note:**

> Im very happy to post this fic! I havent written a lot of Girl x Girl before, so im very happy to be doing this now. Not to mention, ive been wanting to write about ddlc for a while now.  
> Im trying to make these chapters longer than my other fics, so updates might be slow, especially considering that this fic isnt my first priority in life right now ( high school is taking up most of my time, yikes ) So please be patient, and comment with thoughts/predictions for my writing.   
> Enjoy!

At this point, Yuri had accepted her feelings towards Natsuki. She had tried to deny them for a long time- but now she knew what she was feeling. She knew that fluttering in her heart whenever Natsuki was present was a symptom of romance. She had definitely read enough love stories to know what love felt like ( or at least, a vague idea of it ) and to know that what she was feeling was definitely not platonic. 

The fact that she liked a girl had been a little distressing at first. What would everyone- especially her family- think of her? She felt fairly certain her father wouldn't mind. He was a kind, easygoing man who genuinely tried to be accepting and generous to everyone. In his mind, every human was deserving of attention and love. So, Yuri figured it wouldn't be a big deal to him. 

Her mother, on the other hand... 

Yuri's mother had divorced her father when Yuri was just a toddler. She was a no nonsense business woman who ( apparently ) didn't have time to maintain a relationship with her family. So, Yuri had moved in with her father when she was little. Her relationship with her mother consisted of monthly dinners when her mom only showed interest in her grades and intelligence. These visits felt more like interviews than mother daughter dinners. She would ask probing questions, and frown in disapproval if Yuri's response wasn't satisfactory. Yuri didn't dare mention her social life- worrying that her mother would disapprove of her taking time away from her studies to have fun with friends. Sure, Yuri loved learning, nut she also liked spending time with other people. Especially other members of the literature club. 

When Yuri had originally joined, she had been worried that herself, Sayori, and Natsuki wouldn't be able to get along. They were all just so different. Sayori was bubbly and cheerful, but absent minded. Monika was a natural leader, but could become bossy. And Natsuki was thoughtful- but could become defensive and out of hand when she felt threatened. 

Among all these characters, Yuri felt utterly dull. She was quiet, shy, and uninteresting. She could barely look a person in the eye without blushing or stuttering. 

But, somehow, they all became friends. Sayori helped keep the conversation going with her mindless chatter, While Monika kept things civil and easy going. Natsuki was sometimes ciritcal of others, but was always ready to offer an opinion that added to the fun. Yuri even found that she managed to add something to the group. She acted like a teacher, giving the others books to read and tips to improve their writing. It made her happy, to know that she finally had friends. 

She felt at peace. 

 

So, she kept her social life under wraps. She worried what her mother would think of her, if she told her she liked girls. In fact, she feared what her mom would think. Maybe it was irrational for her to fear someone who hardly even talked to her- but she was scared. Scared of showing who she really was, and being judged for it. 

and yet, she still couldn't deny her feelings for Natsuki 

XXX 

" Yuri? Hello?" Monika waved her hand in front of Yuri's face, trying to get her attention. 

Yuri blinked in surprise. 

" W-What?" Yuri began, stuttering. Monika smiled slightly, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. 

" You were spacing out. Are you alright? " 

" Er, yeah. " Yuri said. " I was just... thinking, I guess. " 

Monika stared, looking curious. 

" About what? I dont think my poem was that thought provoking... It was only about the sunrise. "

" No, your poem was good!" Yuri said, shaking her head. 

" I guess its okay..." Monika shrugged. " I think its a little too cutesy. Ive been spending too much time with Sayori... But seriously, what were you thinking about?" 

Yuri tapped her fingers anxiously. She glanced a few seats away where Natsuki and Sayori were sitting. The small girl was scribbling away in a notebook, seemingly ignoring the other girl beside her. She seemed preoccupied, and would occasionally frown at the paper. 

Monika glanced towards the other girls, at Yuri, a grin forming on her face. 

" Ah, I see. You were daydreaming about Natsuki!" The brown haired girl exclaimed. Yuri squeaked in surprise, her face going as red as an apple. 

" W-What?" Yuri said. " I, I would never-" 

Monika waved away her protests with a finely manicured hand, giggling. 

" Its okay, Yuri, I get it." She leaned closer to Yuri, and lowered her voice to a whisper. " Natsuki's a cute girl. Its totally fine if you like her." 

Yuri spluttered, trying to explain herself. 

" N-No, me and Natsuki are just friends!" Yuri said, trying to will her face to stop blushing. " I was just thinking about something else..." 

Monika shook her head, still smiling. 

" Geez, if it makes you that shy, we dont have to talk about it. Just know its okay if you like her, okay? You two would be a super cute couple." Yuri opened her mouth to retaliate, but Monika suddenly rose from her seat, speaking to the rest of the club.  
" Club time is over! Thank you for sharing your poems. Remember, next weeks theme for our writing is... " She paused dramatically. " ... Love! Have a good day, and remember to be on time tommorow!" Monika clapped her hands together, officially ending the club time. She then picked up her backpack from the floor, and began to pick up the classroom- tucking in chairs and straightening out the desks. 

Yuri followed suit, noticing Sayori approach from behind her. She heard her chuckle under her breath. 

" Monikas super happy to be president. Shes always talking about it, even when were not at school." 

Yuri smiled softly. 

" Doesnt sound like good date material..." She said, feeling amused as Sayori blushed. 

" Oh, I dont know. Im happy that she's so motivated. For a while it felt like she was in such a funk, but since she created the club..." Sayori shrugged. " She seems happier. Not to mention, shes much more passionate now... if you get my drift. " 

Yuri huffed, shaking her head. She loved her friends, and was happy that they were a couple- but she had no need for the details of their intimate life. 

" Well, anyways, bye Yuri! Ill see you tommorow." Sayori walked out the door, Monika following soon after. She saw them clasp hands as they walked down the hallway, chattering and smiling, totally oblivious to everything else around them. 

" Bye..." Yuri mumbled, trailing off. 

She glanced over at Natsuki, who was still writing in her notebook at her desk, not seeming to realize that the club meeting was over. That alone was odd- Yuri would have thought she would have listened to Monika's announcement of the poem theme. The theme of love seemed right down Natsuki's alley. Yuri knew that she loved everything cute- and love certainly fitted into that category. 

Summing up her courage, Yuri grabbed her satchel and walked over besides Natsuki.

She stood so she was hovering over the girls shoulders, and leaned on the desk. . 

The girl glanced up, then looked back down at her notebook. Her cheeks were slightly pink. 

“ Do you think you'll be able to write something good for the next poem, Natsuki ?” Yuri asked, hovering besides the girl. She hoped she could smell the lavender-scented perfume she’d put on today. It had made her feel a little weird, trying to hard to be pretty to impress someone- but she wanted so badly for Natsuki to like her. 

Natsuki shrugged, eyes distant. 

“ I dunno. I guess. “ Yuri frowned slightly. Natsuki was usually so confident, and this was a far cry from her usual personality. 

“ Really? A ‘love’ theme seems right down your alley, Natsuki. You're always so good at writing sweet things like that.” Yuri said carefully, trying to make it sound sincere. She would hate a repeat of their previous arguments. She still shuddered to think about that time she’d insulted Natsuki and managed to involve Monika and Sayori in it. 

Natsuki scowled down at her notebook, and furiously began to erase what she’d been writing. Yuri tried to catch glimpses of it as it disappeared from the page.

Papa 

Untalented  
Nothing matters .

Yuri gulped nervously. That didn't sound like her usual cute fluff. 

“ I don't know. I feel like I cant write anything lately.” Natsuki said, brushing eraser dust from the page. 

“ I could help you. Maybe I could come over, and we could write poems together-” 

“ No.” Natsuki said suddenly, looking alarmed. She looked at Yuri, her face turning red. “ U-Uh, I don't need that. You'd probably just hate whatever I wrote anyways…”  
Yuri shook her head, eyes wide. 

“ That's not true, Natsuki! I like your writing. It's just a lot different than mine.” 

Natsuki shrugged, picking up her notebook. She shoved it into a small backpack on the floor beside her. It was a rather cheap looking one, and Yuri noticed that a couple patches where it had been sewn back together. 

“ That's okay, Yuri. I’ll be fine.” The girl tried for a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. “ I'll see you tomorrow, okay?” With that, the small girl rushed out of the clubroom, holding her backpack by its straps. 

Yuri watched after her, a feeling of dread settling in the bottom of her stomach. 

It wasn't like the girl. Not like her at all. Natsuki used to be so confident- she would even brag to Yuri about how she loved her writing style, and its way of making simple words ring with meaning. 

But now... She was acting strange. 

Yuri stood in the solitary classroom, trying to put her thoughts together, trying to form some sort of theory. 

Maybe something was going on at home?

After all, Natsuki had seemed very nervous when Yuri suggested going to her house. Maybe she was in financial straits, and her house wasnt looking its best? Yes, that would make sense, Yuri thought. Natsuki always seemd to be asking Monika or Sayori for extra coins so she could buy food from the vending machine. And her backpack looked old and worn, like she couldnt afford to buy a new one. Maybe her family wasnt financially stable, and she had to rely on the kindness of others since she did not have money of her own. 

Maybe thats it, Yuri thought. Certainly, her life seems normal in every other aspect. Her grades are good, as far as I know, and she's always been confident until now. 

Yuri sighed, shouldering her satchel, and finally walking out the door. 

She supposed only time would expose what was wrong with Natsuki.


	2. Natsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki goes home, and muses over a certain purple haired girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this point onward, be aware that most chapters in Natsuki/Yuris point of view will mention the following-
> 
> Alcohol addiction, Abuse, Suicidal thoughts/actions, and other themes that may be especially upsetting to some people. 
> 
> If there is anything I write that is not on this list, I will specifically mention it before the chapter.

Natsuki closed the door to her house behind her, sighing as she locked it shut.

Home sweet home.

The scent of beer and cigarette smoke greeted her instantly, hitting her like a brick wall, assaulting her senses and installing a deep sadness into her. It amazed her that these smells could have that affect on her.

That he could have that affect on her.

Wandering into the kitchen, a rather messy sight greeted her. A dozen beer bottles were strewn about, all of them empty, some on the floor, others on the kitchen counter top. One had even shatterd at some point, for some reason- and the glass was laying in a heap on the floor. A few drops of leftover beer surrounded it, making a sticky puddle on the ground.

Besides that, a few containers of cheap chinese takout had been left from a few days ago- Natsuki vaguely remembered that her dad had promised to throw them out telling her that she did too much work. Of course, he must have forgotten, or just decided to back out on his word. She didnt particularly care which one it had been. All she knew was that now she had to clean it up.

Natsuki instantly set to work, picking up as many empty bottles as her thin arms could carry. She then went to the garage, and threw them in the recycle bin- hoepfully she would have a chance to return them to get a few bottle slips. If she was very lucky, she would even be able to buy some food from that money.

She made three more trips like this, each one making her feel a little more tired. A girl her age should have been able to do this- carry a few bottles a dozen yards. But she knew that she was too weak to do this easily.

She hated herself for that.

Sighing as she threw out the last container of takout, Natsuki plopped down on one of the barstools near the counter. The cold metal felt chilly against her legs, but it was welcome. She had managed to work up quite a sweat, doing her housework. That alone was discouraging. She knew that she had much more to do tonight- and very little chance of getting a break in between this work.

She had to clean the kitchen, make dinner, pack lunch for her Dad for work tommorow, finish her homework, clean her room... And, hopefully, she would have time to do some baking.

Baking. Natsuki smiled slightly, the worry leaving her brain.

She didnt know why she had such a passion for it- but she did. Something about making food that was special and delicious sent a thrill through her. She loved it even more when people complimented her baking, and aboslutely adored watching people eat her creations. Making treats for the literature club was, frankly, one of the only things that kept her going. Seeing her friends enjoy treats, treats that she made...

It made her feel like she was worth something. It made her feel valuable, smart, like she really mattered. And it was the only category she was smart in. She knew everything about baking, and she prided herself on that.

Food was simple. It was good, or it was bad. To make a good dish, you had to have a good recipe, and good presentation with your food.

And, if you could manage all of that, your success was basically guranteed.

Something about the ( usually ) simple notion of baking made Natsuki feel calm, yet passionate all at once. There was no worry when she was baking- she was in complete control of her space. She had control over every ingredient, every action, and thusly she had control over the outcome.

She did not have to worry about her father when she was baking.

She did not have to worry about other people when she was baking.

All she had to worry about was herself, and she had been doing that for a long time.

XXX

Natsuki's father came home two hours later than usual- the usual being around seven. So, he came home at nine.

Natsuki had the foresight to keep his dinner warm in the oven, and place it on the table as soon as he walked in the door. So, when he sat down, she looked like a devoted daughter who had warm food ready for her father.

As he dropped down into the chair, he ruffled Natsukis hair. She frowned as he did so, ( he knew she hated it when he touched her hair ) mainly because she could smell the faint stench of alcohol on his breath.

She groaned internally as she realized what that meant.

He had probably spent most of his weekly paycheck at the nearest bar. Which probably meant that this week would be full of hunger for her, and anger from him. He would be frustrated that he didnt have money, not realizing it was his own fault for spending it all on beer. And that probably meant that his anger would be taken out on her.

Natsuki threw on a smile as her father looked up at her.

" How was your day, Daddy?" She said, straightening her shirt to try to look cuter. After she had come home, she had changed into a bright pink skirt and a sweater. Her dad liked it when she acted like she was still a little girl. He would even compliment her when she wore cute clothing. She supposed it was because it reminded him of a simpler time, back when mom was still around, back when things were better.

The man grunted, taking his fork from the table and shoveling food into his mouth. Tonight it was spaghetti- it was that almost every night. Pasta was cheap, and easy enough to make.

" Alright. Damn boss keeps on adding more hours. Thats why I was home late." He said, glancing up at her. It was a bullshit excuse, but Natsuki pretended to accept it. He had probably forgotten the bottles he had left behind. ' Out of sight, out of mind', as they say.

" Did you already eat?" The man said, raising an eyebrow as Natsuki sat down at the table.

Natsuki paused, trying to figure out the best answer. Yes, and he might be angry that she didnt wait up for him. No, and he might think that she was lying.

" Yeah..." She said slowly. " But only a little. I saved most of it for you."

Apparently her answer was right, because he smiled in a way that reminded her of when she was little and he would play with her.

" Good girl. " He patted her hand where it layed on the table. He took another bite of food " Why dont you go to your room, and do your homework? Ill come up to say goodnight in a little bit." Natsuki nodded quickly, standing and practically running upstairs to her room. She heard her dad startle behind her, obviously annoyed by her quick exit, but she didnt care. She had succesfully made it through dinner without provoking him.

What an acheivment! She thought sarcastically. She wondered if any of her friends had to worry about things like that. About their parents hurting them.

Probably not.

Shutting the door behind her, Natsuki breathed a sigh of relief. She sat down on her bed. It creaked noisily underneath her, despite her light weight. It was covered in threadbare blankets, and a pillow that was stuffed with dirty clothes.

The rest of her room was similarly furnished. She had a small desk that her dad had found at a garage sale for twenty bucks. She also had a small dresser ( found by similar means ) that was chipped and splintered in places. She always had to be careful when putting clothes in it, for she often got splinters.

Her walls were painted a shade of pastel pink- one of the only things she liked about her room. She knew it made her look childish, but she really did like the color pink. Obviously, because she had dyed her hair that color. It was one of her fathers few kijnd acts to buy a few cans of pink paint and paint her room a few years back for her birthday.

She had loved him back then.

She supposed that feeling had faded, lately.

Sighing, Natsuki pulled her backpack towards her, from where it was sitting on the floor. Unzipping it, she allowed her mind to wander to the Literature Club.

Love.

That was the theme for the poem she was supposed to write tonight. She had no doubt Monika had chosen it so that she could have an excuse to write about Sayori... Yuck. Talk about a pair of love birds.

They were great and all, but their whole lovey dovey nature was sort of annoying after a while. It had been sweet at first, but now... it was nauseating.

Though...

maybe Natsuki wasnt one to judge. She wasnt totally innocent on the grounds of liking another club member.

And yes, that certain club member was Yuri. Natsuki blushed as the purple haired girl came to mind. Yuri. What a fucking goddess. She was like something out of an anime, with her waist long hair and pale skin.

Not to mention her curvy figure, completed by a rather large bust. Seriously, she had thought they were fake at first, but when her and the girls had gone to the beach in their swimsuits, she had realized they were by all means genuine. And okay, maybe staring at Yuri's boobs so much made her a creeper, but it was hard to resist. You try being gay for a beautiful girl and not taking advantage of the view. Yeah, not so easy now, is it?

Honestly, it was unfair how beautiful that girl was. Natsuki had realized she liked Yuri only minutes after meeting her. How couldnt she? She was the total package. Gorgeus, smart, and sensitive. Admittedly, they had butted heads at first- Natsuki had definitely been bitter towards her for a while. They both had strong opinions and views, so it had taken them a long while to find harmony. But now that they had gotten to know each other...

Natsuki felt drawn towards the girl, like a moth to a fire.

Moth to a fire... thats not bad, Natsuki thought. Maybe that will work in a poem...

Pulling out a notebook and a pencil, Natsuki set the graphite tip to the page, and started to write.


	3. Yuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its time to share poems at the Literature Club! But something happens before hand...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far! Please comment, it really helps to encourage me. 
> 
> Also, Monika and Sayori are definitely that one couple that show waaaay too much affection for each other in public, and annoy everyone with their romance. No one can convince me otherwise.

Yuris heart was racing as she sat down in the club room, pulling out her poem from her bag.

Maybe she shouldnt have written such a passionate poem about love. She hadnt really considered the fact that she would have to share it with her fellow club members when she had written it. She had been in such an artistic fury that she hadnt even realized half of what was going on the page.

  _Angel._

_She is a beauty, unparalleled._

_Her eyes marked with ruby stardust, so bright;_

_Hair the color of peaches, enticing._

_Beauty of tragic fate, her eyes aching,_

_So full of good will and self sacrifice._

_Unable to comprehend the poor price,_

  _Unseeing to her very own suffering,_

_Forever serving others: not seeing,_

_That by her angelic ways, her sweetness:_

_Is where lies her only true weakness._

 

But this morning, when she had read it over to check for errors... She had realized how out of character it was for her. Her eyes had gone wide as she had read it over.

 

She had sub consciously written about Natsuki. About her feelings for her, about her crush on her... About her lust for her, even . Honestly, Yuri had thought about the small girl in a sexual way before. Maybe that was why it had transfered to the poem.

 

Despite the fact that she was flat chested and short , Yuri felt undeniable attraction towards her. She wanted to make her feel good, to touch her, to show her how great intimacy could be. And she couldn't deny that everytime Natsuki wore a miniskirt, she felt a stirring between her legs. 

 

God, she had it bad. 

 

And now, she would have to share this poem to everyone. Including Natsuki. She had no time to write anything else, and for some reason she did not want to throw away the poem. It felt... sacred, almost. She had made it for Natsuki, even if she hadn't done so purposefully- and she had the urge to give it to the pink haired girl, and let her writing show her feelings. 

 

Yuri was suddenly pulled from her thoughts by the voices of Monika and Sayori entering the classroom. 

 

" Hello everbody! " Monika beamed. Her and Sayori were linked at the arm, the couple grinning brightly. Yuri noted that both of their uniforms seemed disheveled- Sayori's bow was loosely tied and uneven, and Monika's blazer was unbuttoned. Yuri resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Aparently, her friends had been having a little too much fun at school today. 

 

" Is everybody ready to share poems-?" Monika suddenly frowned, glancing around the classroom. " Hey, wheres Natsuki?" 

 

Yuri glanced around, looking to the desk where the girl usually sat. It was empty. 

 

" Huh." Sayori said, seeming puzzled. " Usually she's the first one here. I'm always the one who's late..." She fiddled with her bow, as if finally noticing it was uneven. 

 

Moniika shrugged, giving Sayori's arm a squeeze. 

 

" Well, I guess we can just get started without her-" 

 

"W-Wait! " Called a voice from the hallway. " I-I'm here!" 

 

Natsuki bustled into the room, panting slightly. Her hair was slightly messy, like she'd been running. Her backpack was thrown over her shoulder, And Yuri noticed that both of her knees were bloody and scraped, like she had fallen onto concrete. The girl's legs were shaking slightly, in fact she was shaking all over. Which didn't really make sense, because she couldn't have been cold;  it was rather warm inside the school. 

 

The girl's eyes were wide, and her face was flushed with exertion. 

 

" Natsuki!" Yuri exclaimed. " You're hurt!" She registered the other girls giving gasps of concern.

 

Yuri stood and rushed to Natsuki's side, placing a finely manicured hand on her shoulder. Gently guiding her, Yuri helped her sit down in a chair and desk nearby. A strange maternal instinct took over, and she kneeled down so that she was at eye level with Natsuki's knees. 

 

Natsuki seemed a bit overwhelmed, and tried to stutter out a response- but Monika spoke over her. 

 

" Sayori, could you grab the classroom's first aid kit?" 

 

" Yeah-" Sayori rushed to the closet, pulling a small white box from the top shelf of it. Nearly sprinting, Sayori quickly delivered the box to Yuri, who was already cradling Natsuki's leg in her hands. 

 

" R-Really, I'm fine- I was running and I tripped..." Natsuki mumbled, blushing. Yuri realized that her eyes were at the same level as Natsuki's legs, skirt, and, well... everything that was hidden beneath that blue skirt. If she wanted to, she probably could've sneaked a peek without Natsuki fully realizing it... 

 

_Stop that, Yuri!_ The purple haired girl scolded herself mentally.  _Now is not the time for dirty thoughts!_

 

Clearing her mind, Yuri opened the box and pulled out some rubbing alcohol and a large bandage. Now that she was looking at the wound closely, a lot of the skin looked ,shredded- road rash, probably, since it looked like most of the skin had been worn away. It was bleeding pretty badly, enough to make it look rather grisly. 

 

Taking a small piece of gauze from the box as well, Yuri opened the cap to the rubbing alcohol and soaked it in the foul smelling liquid, careful not to allow any to drip onto the floor. Glancing up at her friend, Natsuki looked slightly anxious. Her eyes were teary, though Yuri knew it was probably just her bodies natural reaction to being hurt. Natsuki was really too tough to cry over something as small as a scraped knee. 

 

Yuri gave a small smile, trying to seem reassuring even though she was shaiking slightly. She wasn't used to this much excitement. 

 

" It's ok. I'm just gonna disinfect it, then bandage it up. It won't hurt too much. " Yuri soothed. Natsuki nodded silently, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her blazer. 

 

She heard Sayori make a small noise behind her. When Yuri turned to look, she realized the girl had turned pale. 

 

" Uhh... I'm really not good with blood. Is it okay if I leave while you fix her up?" Sayori said, sounding guilty. She must have felt bad for having to leave while her friend was hurt. 

 

Monika nodded, taking her girlfriend's arm. 

 

" Sure. Yuri, can you handle this? I'll help Sayori grab some water and food, too. Its always good to refuel after you've lost some blood, even if its only a little." Monika smiled calmly, seeming pleased. Yuri could have sworn she saw Monika give her a sly look that said  _Enjoy your alone time with Natsuki._

 

" Uh, yeah. We'll be fine." Yuri said, looking down so the other girls couldn't see her blush. 

 

" Good. We'll be back in just a moment." The two girls walked out, still arm in arm. The door clicked shut behind them. She could have sworn she heard Monika giggle under her breath, clearly proud about making Yuri and Natsuki be alone together.  _Sly fox. I bet she planned this, somehow._

 

"Umm... okay. " Yuri said, trying to bridge the akward silence. " I'll start with the left knee first. Well, its my right, but, you know..." Natsuki looked at her blankly. " Nevermind. Just stay still, okay?" 

 

Yuri pressed the cloth against the wound, wiping as gently as she could. A few scraps of dead skin fell away, and some gravel and dirt as well. Blood quickly soaked the cloth, saturating it completely. 

 

She felt Natsuki tense against her touch, obviously experiencing the stinging sensation that came along with disinfectant. Yuri took a breath and blew against the skin, repeating a trick that her father had taught her. The air would almost numb the skin, taking away the pain from the disinfectant. Yuri could remember her father doing the same for her when she had skinned her knee trying to ride a bike for the first time. 

 

Natsuki took a shaky breath of relief as Yuri took the bandage and pressed it firmly against her knee. Once that was in place, Yuri did the same process with the other leg, thankful that this time Natsuki didn't tense up when she disinfected the wound. She seemed calmer, even though she was still shaking, ever so slightly. 

 

"There. All done." Yuri sighed in relief. She had never been bothered by blood or gore, but seeing Natsuki bleeding had made her heart race. Even though she rationally knew that such a small injury was nothing to get distraught over, it had bothered her a great deal.  _Perhaps I am not as immune to gore as I previously thought..._

 

" Thanks..." Natsuki mumbled. She seemed embarrassed. " I'm sorry I caused any trouble. " 

 

Yuri shook her head, smiling. 

 

" It's no problem. " She said. " But why were you running so fast? You're usually not clumsy- that's more of Sayori's style." 

 

Natsuki shrugged, averting her eyes. 

 

" No reason. I was just late, and I didn't want you guys to worry about me. My teacher held me back after class, so it took me longer than usual to get over here..." The girl slumped against her desk, looking tired. She rested her head on her hand. " I guess I wasn't looking where I was going, and I tripped. " 

 

Yuri raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Something in Natsuki's expression told her that she was holding something back.  _Perhaps she got into trouble, and that's why her teacher held her back after class?_

 

It would make sense- except Natsuki wasn't a trouble maker. She was usually very shy, especially during school hours. The only time she really came out of her shell was during club meetings, and even then she could be reserved if she was having a rough day. 

 

Yuri didn't want to offend the girl, but she could tell that she was lying. Something more was going on. 

 

" Did you get in trouble? " The purple haired girl asked. 

 

Natsuki stiffened, and seemed to curl in on herself, hunching over.  _Well, I suppose that answers the question._

 

" What happened? " 

 

For a moment, the girl said nothing. Then, she started to shake, and she covered her face with her small hands. When a small cry left her lips, Yuri realized she was crying. Yuri's heart lept into her throat, and she froze.  _The hell? I've never seen her cry, certainly not over something like this..._

 

" Hey... its alright..." Awkwardly, Yuri stood and wrapped an arm around the girls shoulders. Natsuki sobbed and shook her head. " It's no big deal... Did you get a detention, or something? " 

 

Natsuki sniffled and shook her head again. 

 

" I'm sure it can't be that bad... " A light bulb went off in her head, as she remembered that Natsuki's last class of the day was math. Hadn't she mentioned, a week or so back, having a huge exam to study for? " Oh, you had an exam yesterday, didn't you? Did you get the grade back?" Natsuki nodded slowly, trembling. " Was it a bad one?" 

 

Another nod. 

 

" Oh, Natsuki... " Yuri said. " That's okay. It's just a grade. Did your teacher hold you back to tell you about it?" 

 

Yuri knew that usually, teachers only held back a student after class if they had completely failed an exam. However, she would give Natsuki the benefit of the doubt until she admitted that. 

 

" It's okay. Usually they'll let you re-take it, if you can get your parent to sign the retake form. All you have to do it tell your dad, and I'm sure you'll be able to retake it and get a better grade. You'll be fine." Natsuki only cried harder, leaning against Yuri's shoulder. 

 

Sensing her distress, Yuri pulled her crush into a hug, wrapping her arms around her small frame. The chair sort of got in the way, and Yuri could feel the wooden back pressing against her, but she ignored it. Natsuki sniffled and pressed her head against Yuri's shoulder as Yuri pulled her closer. 

 

Yuri felt a few tears drip against her shirt, warm and wet. For a few moments, they stayed like this- it could've been seconds, or minutes; Yuri couldn't be certain. But after a bit, Natsuki pulled away, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand and looking down at the ground bashfully. 

 

Unable to stop herself, Yuri reached forward and tucked a strand of Natsuki's hair behind her ear. The girl looked up at her, surprised. She seemed confused by the sudden action of intimacy. 

 

Yuri only shrugged, blushing slightly. 

 

Just as Yuri was about to speak, the class door opened. 

 

" We come with snacks!" Sayori beamed, holding an armful of packaged chips, cookies, and a few cans of soda in her arms. Monika entered behind her, holding a few napkins and looking bemused. It seemed that Sayori had bought nearly every item in the schools vending machines. 

 

Yuri quickly stepped away from Natsuki, trying to calm her heart. Monika grinned unabashedly, looking between the two and clearly picking up on the atmosphere in the room. 

 

" Oh, I hope we didn't interrupt anything... You finished bandaging her up, right Yuri?" Monika said, feigning innocence. 

 

Yuri narrowed her eyes, but Monika only continued smiling. 

 

"Anyways..." Sayori continued, breaking the silent stare down " Who wants snacks?" 

 

XXX

 

Yuri sat next to Natsuki, sipping from a can of diet soda ( coutesy of their school, who refused to sell full calorie soda ), a half eaten cookie in front of her. Natsuki, meanwhile, was devouring her third bag of chips and throwing back her soda like it was the last thing she'd ever drink. She seemed to be in a better mood, and no more tears fell from her eyes. 

 

A few desks away from them, Monika and Sayori were making a show of feeding eachother chips. They were giggling and looking at eachother fondly, the fitting picture of a pair of lovebirds. Yuri wanted to yell  _get a room you two,_ but she supposed she owed Monika a favor for allowing her and Natsuki some alone time. She would just have to suffer through her friends lovey-dovey behavior for now. 

 

Brushing the last of the crumbs off her fingers, Yuri reached into her bag and pulled out a spiral notebook. Opening it to the page that contained her poem, she said to Natsuki-

 

" So, would you like to share poems? I know we got a late start, but if we read at the same time, we can probably finish before club time is over..." Yuri said. 

 

Natsuki turned to her with a mouthful of chips. Yuri thought she looked cute, sorta like a chipmunk, with her cheeks full like that. 

 

" Mmh?" She began. She swallowed with difficulty. " Er, I mean, yeah. I'll get mine. " Natsuki pulled a sheet of looseleaf paper out of her bag. Little flowers had been doodled on the borders, and Yuri noticed that Natsuki's penmanship seemed neater than usual. She must have put quite a bit of time into her poem. 

 

Taking the paper as Natsuki offered it to her, Yuri couldn't help but smell the faint scent of strawberries and cream that always followed Natsuki and everything she touched. Maybe she was a creeper for loving how the pink haired girl smelled, but she couldn't help herself. Asking her to stop would have been like asking a shark to ignore the scent of blood. 

 

Yuri handed Natsuki her notebook, blushing despite herself. She was about to read her love poem- a poem that was discretely about Natsuki. Yuri hoped that the girl wouldn't be weirded out.  _She probably wont even realize its about her. She will just think I was writing about some boy, or something._

 

" Um.. Hey, don't be weirded out by my poem, okay? Its sorta... I dunno, intense?" Natsuki said nervously. She tugged at her pigtails, straightening the ribbons that held them up. " I guess youll understand when you read it, so just... read it, and give it a chance, okay?" 

 

Yuri nodded.  _I wonder what she means by ' intense ' ? Only one way to find out..._

 

Yuri settled her gaze on the paper and began to read; 

 

_The Opposite_

_I love ____ because she is the opposite of him._

_I love ___ because she doesn't touch me like he does._

_I love ____ because she looks nothing like him._

 

_I hate him because he reminds me I'm not good enough for _____._

_I hate him because he I know he would take ____ away from me._

_I hate him because he looks nothing like ____._

 

_I want to be with_____

_But I know I never can be_

_Because ____ is the opposite of me,_

_And love between opposites can never be._

 

 

 

Yuri blinked, processing what she had read. It was different than what Natsuki usually wrote. More serious, for sure. It had less of the ' cutesy ' language that Natsuki was so fond of. 

 

The poem seemed to be about a person who lamented a person ( only a line represented the name ) she could never be with. The object of affection was compared to another ,a man, who the narrator hates. Finally, The narrator explained that she could never be with ' ____" because she knew they were too different to be together. 

 

It was an interesting composition. Natsuki could be a complex writer when she wanted to be, and this seemed to be one of those times. 

 

She heard Natsuki shuffling beside her, and turned to see Natsuki gazing at the notebook, her face pink. 

 

" Um... what do you think?" " Yuri said, her voice a little higher than usual. 

 

Natsuki looked at her, magenta eyes wide. She opened her mouth, closed it, then finally spoke-

 

" Yuri... Is this about m-?" 

 

" Attention club members!" Sayori shouted, interupting. " Club time is over! And me and my girlfriend have got a hot date, so I gotta go!" She bounced on her heels, as if itching to run off. Monika face palmed, but she looked amused. " This weeks theme is... uh, what is it?" 

 

" Horror." Monika supplied. 

 

" Ah, right! Horror! Because Halloween is coming up!" Sayori grinned evily. " You know what that means! Sexy nurse outfits are available in stores, and you better believe I'm gonna dress up like one for Monika!" Monika shushed her, giggling. 

 

" Uh... Nevermind. I'll see you tomorrow..." Natsuki said quickly. She dropped Yuri's notebook on the desk, and grabbed a few bags of chips from the table. She shoved them into her bag. Throwing her backpack straps over her shoulder, she ran out the classroom door, leaving a spluttering Yuri behind.

 

" Wait, your poem!-" Yuri faltered. The girl was already long gone. 

 

As Sayori dragged her out the door, Monika gave Yuri a small shrug that said  _oh well,  what can you do?_ Then the other two girls left, leaving Yuri alone, pondering what Natsuki was going to say, and wondering if it was a good thing or a bad thing that she hadn't heard her response. 

 

XXX 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, that was a long one. Dunno about how y'alls schools work, but my school allows test retakes if you get a parent signature and do some extra homework assignments. Also my school has diet soda in the cafeteria. We are all fat country kids lmao   
> Please remember to comment! Today's question is... What did you dress up as for your first Halloween? I dressed up as Boo from Monsters Inc., Because my mom just so happened to have a pink shirt and we were financially unable to afford anything else haha. Good times.


	4. Natsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki comes home, to deliver some not - so - great news. The rest is for you to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abuse warning for this chapter. Blood, gore, verbal and physical abuse.  
> This entire chapter contains DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS OF RAPE AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE. NON CONSENSUAL SEX. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS MATERIAL.  
> If you want to read the story but skip over the worst of the sexual violence scene, ignore the text in between the ^ ^. Resume reading afterwards.However, the entire chapter contains mentions of sexual violence.  
> Once again, read at your own risk. I am not romanticizing sexual violence in any way- this fic is just a romantic story with a character who has experienced non consensual sex.

 

Natsuki ran all the way home, only slowing down once her breath was coming in wheezy gasps and her heart felt like it might burtst out of her chest. She managed to reach the front porch of her house before she collapsed, putting her head between her legs and trying to calm herself down. The sun was warm, despite it being October, and she felt a faint sheen of sweat gathering on her forehead and armpits. 

 

Collecting her breath, she managed to think clearly. 

 

That poem  _had_ to be about her. No doubt about it. All that stuff about her pink hair and eyes? No one else in her school had those traits. Maybe Yuri had been writing about someone from another school, but she doubted it. The girl didn't seem like the type to socislize unless she really had to. Not that that was a bad thing. Natsuki kind of liked that shy, schoolgirl vibe. Reminded her of that one girl from Naruto. Hinata? Yeah, Hinata. The shy one with the dark hair who was actually pretty badass when it boiled down to it. 

 

But that was besides the point. She was ( almost?) 100% sure that the poem was about her. Now she had to figure out how to deal with her maybe- crush maybe liking her back. 

 

Was it even possible for someone so perfect to like her that way? It seemed impossible. Yuri was a fucking angel come down to earth. She was gorgeus, smart, and charming in that shy way of hers. She was probably going to end up being an author, writer, or journalist in New York. 

 

Natsuki, on the other hand, was going who-knows-where and going to end up doing who-knows-what. She'd probably stay in this town forever, living with her shitty dad until he kicked her out. And once she was out on the street, she'd probably end up selling her childish body for drugs, or money, or other useless shit-

 

She sighed, rubbing her temples. Thinking like that was only gonna make her depressed. She had to try to think progressively. 

 

Assuming that Yuri liked her, there were a couple ways she could go about this. 

_1) Actually attempting to romance her, ex: going on dates, buying her stuff, etc._

_2) Try to hint to Yuri that she likes her, and maybe Yuri will be nice and try to romance her._

Natsuki had never been one for patience. If she was going to try to win Yuri's heart, she would do it herself. Maybe humiliate herself, but fuck it, she would try. She'd flaunt the few curves she had, and try to act like the cutesy manga girls she was always reading about. 

 

Natsuki sighed, standing up.  She couldn't hide outside her house forever. She would have to go inside sometime. 

 

Based on the car parked in the garage, Natsuki guessed her father was already home. Either he'd had a shorter work day than usual, or he had been fired and sent home. She hoped it was the first one- not the second, because he'd been fired twice in the last three months, and at this point she was wondering if he would even be able to find another job. He was a construction worker, and there was only so many worksites nearby. They couldn't afford to move to a more prosperous area, because they didn't have enough money to make a down payment on a house, or even an apartment. So, they were stuck here, with only a handful of places to work. 

 

She was anxious about confronting her father. Yuri had been spot on when she'd guessed that she had failed a test, and needed her father's signature to retake it. If she didn't retake this test, she would fail Algebra, and need to take the class all over again. So, she needed that signature- and she wasn't skilled enough in forgery to fake his signature. She wasn't even sure what his signature looked like, so that hope was out the window. 

 

She tried to make up a story in her mind. _Hey dad, I need you to sign this- yes, I failed a test, but it wasn't my fault. Remember that day I had to stay home from school because I was sick ? (_ actually, she hadn't been sick. Her father had given her a black eye after she'd failed to have dinner ready on time, and he'd let her stay home because he knew the teachers at school would get suspicious at something like that ) _Yeah, so I missed a ton of  math teaching, and so I didn't know how to do any of the algebra, and then she made me take the test even though I didn't know the material. So, it was kinda her fault. But I'll learn it, and re-take the test, you just need to sign it._

 

It sounded logical enough. But logic didn't neccesarily matter when it came to her father. If he was in a good mood, he'd accept whatever she said. If he was in a bad mood, a drinking mood, he was more likely to slap her. 

 

Natsuki gulped. It wasn't the pain that made her upset- Her father usually didn't hit her that hard anyways. It was the notion of it that upset her. That her father, a man who had once played with her, carried her, smiled at her- hated her enough to hurt her. It made her feel like a failure- like she must have done something to deserve it. Realistically she knew that wasn't true, but the idea stayed with her, always in the back of her mind. 

 

Not to mention, it made her scared. She was never more scared then when her father was giving her that cold look, his eyes absolutely uncaring, his hand curling into a fist. When he was towering over her, his shadow encompassing her tiny form, so much stronger than her. It scared her more than any scary movie, or horror story she occasionally read. No, her father was much more scary. Because he had turned into someone she didn't know any more. He was no longer her daddy, the man who had taught her how to ride a bike, and chatted with her about her favorite mangas. 

 

He wasn't that man anymore. 

 

He was her nightmare. 

 

XXX

 

She unlocked the door an stepped into her house, and the smell of booze hit her instantly. She automatically wrinkled her nose in distaste, recognizing the smell of vodka. It was unmistakable, strong, impossible to miss. 

 

The lights were off, the only illumination coming from the shuttered windows. Watching her step, Natsuki stepped over a few bottles of beer that were abandoned on the floor, empty. It looked like her father was having one of his drinking nights. She hoped he had had enough to pass out, so she wouldn't have to confront him today. Maybe tomorrow, when he was hungover, he'd sign her paper without any complaints. He was usually pretty docile when he was hungover. He would sleep for most the day, and only ask Natsuki for some juice or water. Then he'd leave her be. 

 

Sadly, as Natsuki walked into the kitchen, she realized he was certainly not passed out. 

 

He was leaning onto the counter, clutching a half-empty bottle of Vodka in one hand. The other was fisted into his hair, and he was shaking his head, groaning in distress.  He must have been hammered, because he was shaking and leaning from left to right. The stereotypical picture of total drunkenness. 

 

She tried to back out of the room, but he looked up and noticed her. His eyes were bloodshot and half-lidded, but he snapped to attention when he saw her. 

 

" Nats..." He groaned, using her childhood nickname. " C'mere." His words were slurred, like he was talking through a mouthful of food. 

 

Nastuki paused, dropping her backpack to the floor with a thud. She stepped towards him, keeping a safe distance. She had a strange feeling of foreboding in her heart, making her head hurt and her heart pick up its pace. She had a feeling this wouldn't end well. 

 

" C'mon... Help your old man out..." He tried to give a charming smile, but his yellowing teeth and booze breath took away from the allure of it. Natsuki bit the inside of her cheek, staying where she was. 

 

" W-What... what do you need help with dad?" She asked, her voice higher than usual. Her tongue felt dry in her mouth, and she licked her lips.

 

Her father clicked his tongue, frowning slightly.

 

" Dad? Since when do you call me that? Too grown up for me now, eh?" He frowned slightly, his bloodshot eyes narrowing. " Just like your mother. One moment she's all sweet, asking to be fucked, and then the next she'd asking for a divorce."

 

Natsuki's breath seemed to escape her lungs. Her father, no matter how drunk he was, never talked about her mother. Never.

 

This was bad. Really bad.

 

" Yeah, you're just like her. All you women are like that. Whores who turn on you the moment you try to give it to them. " He sneered, drool dripping down his chin. " I remember the night we made you... she was screaming, acting like she didn't want it... But she did. Whores like her always try to act like they don't want it. "  

 

" D-Dad..." Her thoughts were racing, putting together theories she had never thought of.  _Did he rape my mom? Did he force her to - "_ D-Did.. Did you-" 

 

"  _Shut UP!"_ He roared, drool dripping down to the floor, coating his lips with sticky saliva.

 

" I- I didn't mean to-"

 

"  _Shut up, shut up, shut UP!"_ He stumbled towards her, nearly falling, but regaining his balance. His vodka bottle slipped from his hand and fell to the floor, shattering and spilling it's contents all over. He didn't seem to notice. He gripped his daughter's shoulders before she could dare to move. 

 

Natsuki shrieked, squirming, trying to tear herself away from him, but his fingers were gripping her bony shoulders with sharp nails.

 

"  _Daddy, please!-"_

 

He pushed her down to the floor, into the puddle of vodka, soaking her skirt and shirt. She gasped as her back hit the tile floor, pain lancing through her spine as chunks of glass pushed into her skin. Her father landed on top of her, pinning her hands above her head with a strong grip. 

 

Natsuki realized she was crying, tears flowing down her cheeks. Her vision was blurring, augmenting her vision into only vague colors and shapes. Her father's breath was hot and smelly, fanning her cheeks and making her tears feel cold. 

 

^

" Nats..." He breathed, panting against her cheek like a dog. " Help an old man out..." He glanced downwards, and Natsuki followed his eyes, down to his crotch. She sobbed weakly as she processed what was there. 

 

An erection was pressing against his khaki workpants, straining against the fabric, alarmingly big. A wet spot stained the fabric, and she realized from her vague knowledge of sex that that had to be pre-cum. 

 

Straddling her tiny hips, still holding her wrists with one hand, her father reached down and unzipped his pants. Pulling down his boxers, his penis sprang free, curving up to meet his stomach. He pulled off his shirt with one hand, wrestling it over broad shoulders before managing to tug it off. 

 

Natsuki suddenly seemed to realize what was happening, and a desperate wail left her throat. "  _No, Please, HELP ME SOMEONE!-"_

 

Her father took his shirt and shoved it into her mouth, muffling her screams. His shirt tasted of sweat and dirt, and she tried to spit it out, but he only shoved it further down her throat, choking her, and forcing her to breath through her nose. 

 

_no, no, no , no please, I don't want to lose my virginity like this, I wanted to lose it to Yuri, I wanted it to feel good, P l e a s e,_

 

She sobbed, snot dripping from her nose. It only seemed to encourage her dad, and he took his length into his hand and began to stroke it. Natsuki closed her eyes tighty, trying to think of anything but this. 

 

 _Try to imagine it's Yuri._ He took her blue skirt in one hand, and tore it away, ripping the fabric and leaving her exposed in her white underwear.  _Imagine it's her, touching you, so frantic with lust that shes's tearing away your clothes-_ he tore away her underwear, ripping the cheap lace, and exposing her privates. A neat triangle of pubic hair covered her vagina, blond, the original color of her hair before she dyed it pink. She hadn't dyed down there. She had thought it was useless. No one would see that area for a while, she thought, probably not until she was sixteen and old enough to consent. 

 

She had been wrong. 

 

Her tore away her shirt next, showing her nude bra that covered her small breasts. He reached behind her back and fiddled with the clasps, before managing to unhook her bra and throwing it aside. Her breasts were indeed tiny, but he groped at them , panting with excitement. 

 

Natsuki closed her eyes tighter, trying to imagine that his rough, calloused finger's were Yuri's, but failing to do so.  _Her fingers would be soft, and smell like lavender- not like dirt and sex and vodka-_

 

Her father seemed to get bored of groping her- and he moved down to her vagina, fondling at her clitoris, trying to arouse her. 

 

Natsuki only cried silently, shaking her head. She didn't want this. She didn't want him to touch her like this. Fathers weren't supposed to touch their daughters like this. 

 

He growled softly, seeming unamused. 

 

" What, too good for me now? Try to ignore this..." He suddenly shoved two fingers inside of her, and her eyes flared open, a muffled yelp leaving her lips. She felt her opening stretching to accommodate him, but it still hurt, because she was unaroused and dry. His fingers scissored her open, and she tried to close her legs, but his shoved them back open with ease. 

 

Not giving her a moment of respite, he shoved another finger inside, and the stretch turned painful, her small body not used to the sudden intrusion. Natsuki started to cry harder, and she kicked and wiggled, trying to get away from him. but his hands still held hers, so she was stuck, a total victim to his actions. She had never felt pain like this before, not even when she had broken her arm in three places. This pain was inside of her, making her entire world fade away so all she could feel was that awful stretch, pulling her insides apart. 

 

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled his fingers out of her, making pleased noise when she looked up at him. Her eyes were pleading, begging him  _not to do this._ not to take away everything that made her a little girl. 

 

He only grinned, his sweaty hair clinging to his forehead. He manhandled her so she was flipped onto her stomach, her breasts pressing against the cold floor and making her gasp. Her bandaged knees throbbed, blood soaking through the thin bandages. He took her hands and pinned them behind her back, another hand holding her hip. Her hair fell in front of her eyes, wet with vodka. 

 

" Nats..." He breathed, caressing her skin in a sickly sweet way. She could feel his gaze on her, admiring her teenage body. " you really do look just like your mother..." . With that, he shoved himself inside her, his length tearing her open, her blood making his intrusion easier. 

 

Natsuki screamed, wailed, and cried, trying desperately to crawl away from him, blood dripping down her thighs as her father thrusted inside of her. She could feel him, and hear his groans of pleasure as she bled. 

 

He bottomed out inside her, and the pain turned unbearable. She could feel herself tearing, her world breaking apart, her brain frying inside her head. 

 

As his thrusts became fast, Natsuki blacked out, collapsing onto the floor, her eyes finally fluttering shut. 

 

XXX 

 ^

Natsuki woke up a couple hours after her father finished, in a puddle of his liquids and her own blood. 

 

For a moment, she just layed there, her brain trying to wrap around what had just happened. 

 

Her father had touched her. He had...  _raped her._ And she hated to think of that ugly word, because it was such an _ugly_   word, that she had only heard of in awful news stories and the occasional rumor at school. But now this wasn't some awful news story or rumor, it was her life, and she was totally naked on her own kitchen floor, with dried drool on her chin and dried tears on her cheeks. 

 

And as much as she wanted to be able to process this, right now she really didn't feel like she could feel anything. Her mind was totally blank, even as her vagina throbbed with dull pain. The only thing she knew was that she needed to get up, get dressed, and go into the bathroom to clean herself up. After that, she'd figure out what to do. What to feel. 

 

She propped herself up on her elbows, and felt something sticky against her backside. Reaching a hand behind herself, she felt dried on liquid. Looking at her hand, she realized it was a mix of blood and semen. He had finished on her rear, painting her bloody backside with white liquid. 

 

Her stomach suddenly tilted , and before she knew it she was vomiting on the floor, throwing up a few mouthfuls of bile and adding to the mess that was already there. The image of her dad, defiling her body while she was passed out... 

 

She wiped her mouth with her hand, not even caring that some of the vomit was clinging to her hair. She couldn't think about this right now. She had to  _get up._

 

Pulling herself to her knees, the pink haired girl gasped as a flair of pain jolted through her. She could have sworn she saw a a few more drops of blood drip out of her, onto the floor. 

 

 _Okay. This is okay. I'm okay. Just imagine it's your period, that this blood is just natural, nothing violent, nothing awful._ She crawled a few feet forward, grabbing her bra off the floor. It was one of the only items of clothing he hadn't ripped. She quickly put it on, clasping the hooks behind her back, and breathing a small sigh of relief as part of her body was covered. 

 

She took her torn shirt too, wrapping it around her hips to hide herself. She didn't bother with her skirt- it had been torn in two. Luckily, she had another skirt in the back of  her closet, so all she had to do was get it and she'd be fine. 

 

_Fine, yeah, I'll be fine. Just need to get upstairs, to my room, find some clothes, and clean up. I'll be fine._

 

Pulling herself to her feet by clinging onto the countertop, Natsuki gritted her teeth as more pain followed. Her legs shook, and a few tears pricked at her eyelids.  _Deep breaths. You have to go. You can cry all you want later, right now you need to **go.**_ Bracing her hand on the wall, the girl managed to stumble over to the staircase, before she fell to her knees again. Her knees ached at the sudden contact with the ground, but she ignored it, and dragged herself up the stairs, crawling like a dog on all fours. Luckily, her bedroom was the first room, only a few feet from the stairs. 

 

She didn't turn on the lights- she only guided herself by the walls, and opened her closet door silently. Pulling one of her skirts towards her, she also grabbed a pink sweater that her father had given her last year for Christmas. It was a soft, finely knitted fabric- it was one of the nicest things she owned. 

 

She wondered, to herself, if he had bought it because he loved her- or because he wanted to make her trust him. Had he planned this? Had he wanted to do this for a long time?

 

Natsuki clutched the sweater to her chest, ignoring her thoughts. Crawling out of her room, she found her way to the small bathroom she called her own. Her father had his own downstairs, where he usually slept in his office. Ever since her mother had left, he hadn't slept in the master bedroom. 

 

She supposed she should be thankful for that. If he still slept in the bedroom, he probably would have heard her climbing up the stairs. But, luckily for her, he was probably passed out on the floor of his office. 

 

Lucky. Ha, lucky wasn't exactly the word she would use to describe herself right now. Standing on shaking legs, Natsuki turned on the bathroom lights. She was shocked by what she saw in the mirror. 

 

It was her, that was true, but it was like a nightmare version of herself. .

 

The mirror was small, so she could only see her face- but that was enough. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was smeared with dried drool and snot. Her hair was a tangled mess, her usualy neat pigtails uneven and messy. Her lips were swollen from the friction of the workshirt that had been shoved into her mouth. Her eyes, usually bright, were dull and sad. 

 

She looked away, her eyes burning and her cheeks flushing with shame. What would her mother think of her if she saw her now? Would she feel pity? Or be ashamed of her stupid daughter, who had allowed herself to be raped?

 

Natsuki gulped, closing her eyes tightly for a moment. Now was not the time. She had to clean herself up. Setting down her clothes, Natsuki grabbed a towel from the cupboard underneath the sink and mirror. She turned on the water to a mere trickle, afraid that if she turned it up more it would awaken her father. Once the water was lukewarm, she soaked the towel completely and sat down on the tiled floor. Taking a deep breath and bracing herself, Natsuki pressed the towel to her privates. 

 

She gritted her teeth as the towel rubbed against her torn vagina, the blood trickling once more as she rubbed gently, trying to wash away the traces of fluid her father had left behind. It was difficult to tell, but her privates felt  _wrong_ somehow- everything felt swollen, and out of place. It was impossible for her to see herself without a mirror- she wasn't that flexible- but she could tell by prodding at herself that she had some serious damage done to herself. She couldn't force herself to press a finger inside herself- not when everything was so swollen and painful. But she could guess that she had most likely had some lacerations inside of her vagina, and various bruising. 

 

Throwing the towel away from herself, Natsuki pulled the skirt over her legs. She had forgotten to grab underwear- but it was probably useless anyways. She was already bleeding again, and putting on underwear at this point would only ruin them. Still, it would probably be good to have some sort of barrier between herself and the skirt... 

 

Grabbing a wad of toilet paper, Natsuki stuck it against herself. The material stayed, the blood acting as an adhesive. It probably wasn't all that sanitary, but beggars can't be choosers. 

 

Natsuki pulled the warm sweater over her head. She pulled her hair out of it's pigtails, throwing the rubberbands onto the counter. Pulling herself to her feet, she washed her face with warm water, running some water through her hair as well. It didn't quite get rid of the vodka smell; but it did help her feel better. 

 

Not even bothering to brush her hair as she usually did before bed, Natsuki stumbled back to her room, and collapsed into bed. The bathroom lights remained on, and a few bloodstains marked the usually spotless floor. The bloody towel hadn't been wringed out, and was dripping filth.  But the girl who had left them behind was far too exhausted to care. As she fell into a world of dreams, she allowed the tears to flow finally, her weak sobs the only noise in the silent house. 

 

Despite her efforts, blood managed to soak through the toilet paper- staining her bedsheets; a permanent reminder of this awful night. A permanent reminder of her father, and how he had raped his own daughter and left her bleeding on the kitchen floor. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
